Hokitika Wild Food Festival : Where the wild foods are

I love a good festival, and so far in New Zealand I’ve only had the opportunity to attend one (WanakaFest all the way back in October). Well, this past weekend I was able to go to another, and not only did I attend – I was paid to be there (yay!).

For one weekend every March some 10,000 people descend on the sleepy, West-Coast town of Hokitika where they put on ridiculous costumes and drink themselves silly. They’re drawn there not for the stunning sunsets or the greenstone that is expertly carved there.  Nope, they come for the grub – or, more accurately, I should say grubs.

Hokitika’s  Wild Foods Festival is a showcase for all that’s “edible.”  The quotation marks are important here, cause “edible” is an objective thing at this festival.

Among the wares on offer were such edible delicious and normal things as Indian food, cheesecake, lamb kebabs, and bacon sandwiches (which is what I was selling).  But then there was the weird stuff --the “edible” stuff – that people were sampling:  mountain oysters (sheep testicles), whitebait fritters (patties made from tiny, white fish), seagull eggs (self-explanatory) , and – this is most disturbing – protein shots (horse semen).  Ew ew ew ew ew.

A few takers a the mountain oyster stall.  Next door, gulls eggs were being hawked.

Various ostrich offerings and moonshine was also available.



This is the crowd gathered at the protein shots stall.  They helpfully provided posters identifying the steers whose...uh, protein was on offer.

 (I just know my vegetarian mother is cringing and making her “Blahhhhrggghhh” face right now.)

Compared to all that, the aforementioned grubs seemed positively tame.

This stall was literally just a pile of logs.  The guys working there would just hack off bits of wood to extract fat, white, wriggling grubs and people were paying good money to eat them. 

I was happy to be selling (and eating) focaccia rolls filled with lettuce, honey-smoked bacon, and avocado.  Evidently, the costumed and drunken hoard of revellers was happy we were there too, since we were overrun with customers.  The four of us working the stall had barely a moment’s rest between 11:00 and 3:15 when we ran out of rolls (we then sold cups of bacon until we ran out of that too).  By the end we were shaking we were so tired, hungry and thirsty.  It’s safe to say we earned our pay. 

Unfortunately, I didn't get a photo of our stall in action.

Once we had closed up shop, I was free to roam around and take a few photos.  I didn’t eat anything bizarre.  Instead I enjoyed a lamb-dog (which was actually more of a tasty Pogo), some Indian venison curry, some sparkling rhubarb  wine, and a piece of passionfruit cheesecake.

Mmmmmmmm.

If I’m still here next March I may try and make it back as a punter.